Sternberg Clarke High: Top 5 ‘Back To School’ Entertainment

September 06, 2012


Remember when you were at school and it barely seemed like your summer holidays had started before you started seeing ‘Back To School’ ads in the windows of Woolworths? Remember Woolworths? Remember Peter Kay’s comedy routines that were just a series of ‘Remember When’s? Remember when Tony Soprano said “Remember When is the lowest form of conversation”? I’ve lost my train of thought.

The point is, ‘Back To School’ hung, spectre-like over August – a constant reminder that soon you’ll be back inhaling chalk dust... whiteboard marker fumes... touch screen projector fan emissions in the classroom. We grownups don’t have that problem because we work through summer. But it’s still nice, from time to time, to think back to the days when your biggest worry was being teased for having shoes that were too shiny... Actually that sounds terrible.

So with the clang of the school bell ringing in our ears, we’ve decided to offer up our Top 5 ‘Back to School’ Entertainment Ideas read on for more.

 1st Period: Handwriting Lesson from Our Graphologist

Do kids still write on paper these days? Or is it all iPads and Holograms and Knife Fights and whatnot? Even if school children spend less time in lined notebooks than on computers, Handwriting is a seminal part of anyone’s education. Unless you’re Adam “This Spider has ink on its legs” Sternberg. To bring back the feeling of having your handwriting judged by a stern authority figure, our Graphologist can examine your scrawl and decipher what it says about your personality. Things like “you are going to fail maths”

 2nd Period: Science with Johnny Ball

For people of a certain age, Johnny Ball was the Science teacher you always wished you had instead of Mr Gawne who was a horrible bitter old man. Ball’s enthusiasm for science and maths lead him to become one of the most popular children’s entertainers on television with a career spanning decades and inspiring countless children to give Science a second chance after an awful afternoon with that dreadful Mr Gawne who was a horrible bitter old man. Johnny’s passion for science and public speaking is such that he once made 40 public speaking appearances in the space of two weeks. What do you say to that Mr Gawne, eh? Eh?

 Break: Playground Games

You know what we never have any more? Playtime. I mean, we get a lunch break, some even get a few breaks other than that, but we never just go out into the car park and play bulldog or anything. So why not bring a hint of playtime back into events with a display of extreme sports like Keepy-Uppy, Yo-Yo-ing and BMX-ing? Or are you too afraid to be awesome? You are aren’t you! You’re afraid of what your mum will say! What a loser. (Yes I am trying to ‘peer pressure’ the events industry)

 3rd Period: Music Lesson with Bass Tone Slap

Musicians, or musos as they prefer to be called (no seriously... call them that, they love it) would have you believe it takes years of practice and hard work to master a musical instrument. And much as I like the take any opportunity to prove musicians wrong, they’re not in this case. However an interactive drum workshop from percussion experts Bass Tone Slap will leave guests feeling like they’re ready for a recital in a matter of hours. These high energy, interactive and fun workshops act like a music lesson with none of the fustiness and are the perfect solution when looking for teambuilding entertainment.

 4th Period: Spanish Lesson from Ursula Martinez

Past tense, future perfect, glottal stops and rolling r’s and how can a chair have a gender?! Learning a new language is an arduous task. If only all language teachers were as gleefully smutty as Senorita Martinez. Her foul mouthed flamenco performance switches from vulgar vocabulary lesson to sweary sing-along following her admission, that she is in fact not Spanish, but actually from Croydon. We were introduced to Ursula as part of La Soiree and probably learnt more Spanish in 15 minutes than 5 years of school could ever drum in.

Home Time: Get a Bus Home or something.

So what do you think? What acts remind you of your school days? Let us know in the comments and for more info on booking any of the above for corporate events and wedding – head over to our contact page and get in touch.