August 25, 2015
In psychology, there’s a term known as a flashbulb memory, a moment in time that you remember so vividly that you can recall exactly where you were when you heard a piece of news. Ordinarily, this is a tragedy – 9/11 for instance or the deaths of Princess Diana and John Lennon. And yes, every so often another tragic entry joins this list. And on Monday we were all saddened by the news of One Direction’s hiatus throughout 2016. But no matter, 1D’s loss is Sternberg Clarke’s gain and here we present five bands that are more than willing to take their place.
Hand Fulla Soul
For a fraction of the price of just one personal appearance of a One Direction member (yes, even that one), you can get way more band members than just four. What’s more, Hand Fulla Soul perform their own instruments and really get the crowd going. Have you ever seen 1D cover MC Hammer? Didn’t think so. How about Coolio? Not on our watch. You see, this is what you get with Hand Fulla Soul. Pure entertainment. And between you and I, we think the lead singer’s way better than Harry Styles.
The Flying Hits Parade
Half as many members but twice as talented? You better believe it. The Flying Hits Parade can belt out gorgeous versions of a variety of songs. How many covers do One Direction do? Not many. How many do The Flying Hits Parade do? Loads. What’s more, you don’t get one set for your money, you get three! ‘Nuff said.
When was the last time you saw One Direction busk? Have you ever seen One Direction busk? Nope, neither have we. In saying that, we are sure that at least one reader will get in contact with a video of a variety performance in some eastern European country, but for now we’ll take it as gospel that 1D have never busked. They certainly won’t in 2016 anyway. Know who will? Jazz Mino and her fabulous band. With a whole host of classics in her repertoire including Eminem, this is an experience you won’t forget in a hurry. She’s even performed for the Mayor of London himself, Boris Johnson!
Weapons of Sound
It’s one thing for a group to play their own instruments (and yes, maybe 1D have been known to pull out a guitar from time to time), but it’s quite another to make music using random bits of junk onstage. Weapons of Sound not only have a great name but also can-you-believe-it-considering-we-just-typed-it-what-are-the-chances-of-that make music using random bits of junk onstage! They’ll make any fan still crying out for Zayn to return quickly forget about their problems. Or at the very least drown them out with their Stomp-esque beats.
Okay, so One Direction may perform longer than the Fire Tuba (well, not during 2016...) but frankly this is an entertainment act that will knock the socks off X Factor’s third best entry circa 2010. Had Fire Tuba entered, he’d have finished first because—Well, just watch the video! It’s a man playing a tuba that’s on fire! What more could you want?
As 1D go on hiatus, we are as dismayed as you are at their break from entertainment. But we hope these acts more than make up for it. And if not, well, there are way more others to choose from!
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By Henry Fosdike