May 11, 2015
It’s almost here! Europe’s big annual party, which this year takes place in Vienna after Conchita Wurst’s barnstorming performance in Copenhagen, has this year decided to completely ignore its name and extend an invitation towards Australia to celebrate the 60th year of the competition. Yes, we’ve been getting involved and wasting money on this incredibly silly competition for the past 60 years. Sixty. Six zero. Fun thought, right?
In celebration of the first day of rehearsals – yes, they’re today (don’t ask why we know that) – we thought we’d show you a few songs to look out for.
United Kingdom - Electro Velvet
Choice Lyric: Don’t get wet, I’d be upset. You’re bound to get sneezes, or nasty diseases...
Patriotism has never been so hard to justify. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a bit of swing and Eurovision isn’t exactly bowled over by the genre each year, but Still In Love With You from Electro Velvet feels that the duo will have to really put on an impressive display to even be considered possible winners. The lyrics don’t do them any favours and by the time the scat interlude kicks in – who thought that was a good idea? – you’ll no doubt be consoling yourself with another couple of popcorn kernels.
Sweden – Måns Zelmerlöw
Choice Lyric: And tell the others to go sing it like a hummingbird, the greatest anthem ever heard...
No sooner have we all recovered from Loreen’s bombastic tune Euphoria (uh, uh, uh) from 2012, than they send in another club anthem to get us all nodding along our head to the beat. The overwhelming favourite in-pre competition betting, Måns Zelmerlöw’s Heroes is probably best described as Avicii-lite. It’s nothing different from a load of other songs you’ve heard on a night out this year. But presumably, that’s what people like so expect it to get a lot of votes.
Italy – Il Volo
Choice Lyric: With no fear any more, I want to scream this great love...
Here comes the house wife’s favourite if my mother is anything to go by. A similar act to Il Divo and clearly going for the sex appeal vote, these well cut men in fine suits are belting out a rather harmonious operatic ballad and if we were to guess what they’ll be doing on the night, it’ll be a limited visual display of standing and smouldering to camera as they wait for their turn to unleash their vocal power. No dancing here, folks! It’s currently second favourite to win, with the terrible acting in the video presumably going ignored by most punters.
Moldova – Eduard Romanyuta
Choice Lyric: The future that you’re painting got me all anticipating...
Oh hi, Smash Hits! I Want Your Love appears to come straight from 1999 with the music video to match. Eduard broods in his jail cell after careening about the city (presumably in Moldova) after his love turned him down. It’s all very Fast & Furious with guns, fast cars and nineties hair. There’s a lot to love here. Unfortunately it’s in a 'laugh at' rather than 'laugh with' kind of way. To be honest, the song is perfectly fine but arrives roughly sixteen years too late, which is why the bookies have it as dead last to win. Music is a cruel industry.
Finland - Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät
Choice Lyric: Can't go to my PC, can't watch my TV, can't even see my mates...
You can always count on Finland to go the extra mile when selecting a Eurovision song. We all remember (and loved) Lordi’s Hard Rock Hallelujah back in 2006 and this time, our favourite Scandinavians have sent over an aging punk act. Apparently the song is all about Europe’s healthcare system, criticising the conditions that many disabled people have to live in. Admirable for that but it’s hard to see this progressing to be a late frontrunner.
Romania – Voltaj
Choice Lyric: If the sun stays hidden, not waiting in the dawn, you will be the reason, you will be the reason, to start all over again...
A bit of an outsider to win currently, this might well be a good bet to go top five on the night. Ignoring the music video with its gorgeous cinematography, the song is actually rather beautiful with a soft melody and warm vocals. It’s proven to have had a rather receptive audience online but whether that’s enough for next year’s competition to be held in Bucharest remains to be seen.
Australia – Guy Sebastian
Choice Lyric: Do whatchya whatchya whatchya want...
Australia have galloped in the competition with actual intent to win, it seems. Of course unlike the UK, they probably take the whole thing seriously. Kind of like the Cricket World Cup. Guy Sebastian is a big, big name in his homeland where he’s released seven albums with every one going platinum (minus his recent one but give it time...) This isn’t a bad song at all. A solid slice of catchy pop, this will no doubt draw in a large Radio 2 crowd. It’s currently third favourite.
But whoever wins the Eurovision Song Contest, in truth we are all winners because by then it shall be over.
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By Henry Fosdike